A Conversation about Kittens and Zucchini

And Iris and Daylilies. This time of year is famous for vegetable overflow. Successful zucchini crops are as welcome to the gardener's neighbors as a litter of kittens. While charming from a distance, both are overwhelming in reality. Let's assume we are all capable of refusing the little furballs and move on to the challenges of vegetable orphans. Many of us have no idea what to even do with a zucchini, even if it's a correctly sized one. That, to newbies, is small enough to cut up without having to deal with seeds. In other words, the zucchini version of kitten-sized. Zucchini is wondrously versatile. You can saute, can or freeze it, and it is a great base for soups. Still, there is only room for a finite amount in any kitchen. The dangerous phase is where the ballbat -sized zucchini begin to appear. The donors become sneakier at delivery, sometimes at night or when the recipient isn't at home. The sad truth is that those huge vegetables are only good for two things: zucchini bread or compost. The compost choice is risky, because there may be seedlings next spring, starting the cycle (and the similarity to kittens) all over. And zucchini bread is only interesting to diehard bakers or rookie gardeners. I know a woman who grew all her zucchini to full size for zucchini bread. The thrill wore off after one season of grating and baking and making freezer space... and finding out the kids wouldn't eat it. I don't know how to deal with the donating neighbor politely, but there are many creative ways to deal with the unwanted produce. Passing it on to friends and family, or setting up a stand out front with a “free” sign are borderline remedies. Food pantries are probably already loaded with produce, but it's worth a try. Depositing the unwanted veggies by stealth can be dangerous, what with all the security cameras in everybody's doorways. Let me know if you find a gracious way to deal with the green menace.

While zucchini and kittens are famously unwelcome, Iris and Daylilies exist in a similar universe of plenty. Charity plant sales are always awash with both, and anyone who gardens has some of both. They are, after all, among the top dozen most popular (and easy) perennial plants. The problems are multiple. Success is almost guaranteed, and the rainbows of color of the flowers are irresistible. There are also societies of collectors scattered around the area, because both are ridiculously easy to hybridize. So it is easy to be tempted to expand the “collection” of Iris and/or Daylilies. However, not only are they easy to grow, they are ridiculously prolific. Before you know it, there is a surplus of plants and they are outgrowing the area and blooming less because they're crowded. So they must be thinned. And they're too beautiful to just discard. See the direction this is going? Just like the zucchini, they're welcome at first. Then there's no room at the neighbor's garden, and the stealth sharing begins. I have no cure for this dilemma, either, except to practice moderation. Hah!

So, sadly, I must ask the reader for suggestions. Any legal and practical ideas accepted, whether for kittens, Zucchini, Iris or Daylilies.