Bruised Fruit 16

Bruised Fruit #16 

Be open to the positive things in life. I haven’t been to an NA meeting in weeks and need to go. It’s funny—I always found time to cop drugs, no matter the day, the time, or whether I had to work. I always made time to get high. But now, I’m beginning to make excuses, like telling myself I have to work seven days a week. The truth is, meetings have an incredible way of making you feel much better once you’ve shared your story and listened to others share theirs. It’s a strange phenomenon, almost like the release of endorphins after a workout. Sometimes I don’t want to stretch and work out because I’m lazy, but I always feel so much better when I do.

Staying sober requires effort. You must be assertive in all aspects of your life, or life will trample you. Assertiveness is one of the key tools to staying clean. Taking control of your life after years of addiction can be daunting and challenging, but we are adaptable, and the more you practice, the better you get.

The hardest part of sobriety is putting down the drugs and starting to rebuild—making new friends, processing emotional trauma, and regaining the trust of loved ones. I certainly didn’t want to go through this. It’s painful and humbling to face the damage I’ve done, but it does get easier, one day at a time.

If I can offer any advice, it would be to hold on to those you love, always be open and honest, and remember that everything in this life, even life itself, is temporary. Hence the saying, “This too shall pass.” President Abraham Lincoln apparently liked this phrase, which Narcotics Anonymous adopted. Lincoln once said, “And this, too, shall pass away. How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride; how consoling in the depths of affliction!”

When I destroyed my life, and now as I’m recovering, I’ve had plenty of time to think about the terrible things I’ve done. But I’ve also realized that our weaknesses can transform into our greatest strengths. You never know what a new day will bring. Life is challenging enough without addiction. Giving back, being kind, and accepting that others may never fully forgive or agree with you is essential. Acceptance is key. It’s pointless to argue about your version of events versus another person’s. You’ll only create more resentment, which hurts both of you. Let it all go. Accept that when you hurt someone, sometimes that’s all they’ll remember about you, no matter how much good you did. It’s hard, but it’s possible to overcome this with effort—even if it means cutting off contact with certain people. Moving forward, as I spoke about last week, is crucial.

Stay humble. Don’t let arrogance creep in. Help those who need it. Be there for your loved ones, your employers, and your friends. I’ve learned so much from the people in my life and even those who are no longer a part of it. I’m so grateful for them. I regret that some of these people saw the worst parts of me when I was lost in active addiction. I wish I had been the man I am today back then. But the past is the past. Significant mistakes were made. Looking back, I’m grateful I experienced love and stability, and that’s where I want to be again. Just because that part of my life is over doesn’t mean it won’t find me again. And I know it will because I’m open to it.