Traditional Speakingby Pat Larsen - The Tortures of Insomnia

This column is not based on scientific data nor is it going to be submitted for peer review any time soon to a local 

Ivy League school. There will be no aha moment. No age old mystery solved today.

 I don’t want to give you the impression up front that I’m going to give you any solutions that you might not have considered. 

Nope, this is simply the stating of the stark reality that can torture Seniors and Baby Boomers who just need some sleep and aren’t getting any.

The body needs to rest, right? 

In contrast though, the brain apparently needs to first engage in resolving every issue that has plagued its person for a few hours ...”before” it will allow the rest to occur. It’s like someone forgot to  invite us to the slumber party that happens after we’ve sipped that Chamomile tea, taken the last of those meds for the day and let the dog out one more time. Prayers said… then we’re ready to drop off into the warm cozy bed that we expect to welcome us. But, NO, that’s not what happens, is it?

…  still wide awake, yet hopeful, we allow for the first few minutes with sincere intentions for achieving a blissful night's sleep. Always, on the night that we need the most rest. 

I open one eye and peer at the illuminated clock across the room that sits on the bureau and darn if it’s not just 12 minutes past the time that I looked before.

How can this be? 

Sometimes, as a writer I will occasionally come up with a genius idea for resolving the problems that I state exist.

This time though, nah, I got nothin’.

The only solution I’ve come up with is to simply get out of bed and to stop trying so hard to make sleep happen upon command.

I do have a partner, my spouse, who annoys me to death because he seems to have absolutely no problem sleeping. I stare at him and wonder most nights, are you really asleep? 

I watch closely for a smirk… of course, seeing none. I even put on the nightlight to test my theory but he even sleeps through that nuisance. 

So, I do the next best thing..I get out of bed to make some noise to see if that will produce the result I’m seeking… to have some company to share in the torture of being wide awake.

He nor the pup budge.

Is it wrong to reminisce of those long gone days now that we slept til noon? Guilt free I might add?

Perhaps, we never realized that those sleeping statistics of how much rest we should get were overrated and we base that expectation on a false idea now.

Sweet dreams when you can get them is my new motto.

Pat Larsen lives in Greene County, NY with her husband Chris of 52 years and their pup, Lily. 

Pat would love to hear from you about your sleep stories or any topics  you’d like to share.

Please contact Pat at 518-275-8686