Whittling Away with Dick Brooks - Food

The evening news today had an article about school lunches and how they are being made healthier, less fat, less sodium, fruits, fresh veggies.  It sounds like the stuff they keep trying to get senior citizens to eat.  Hope they have more luck with the kids that they do with the seniors.  Senior Centers, Meals on Wheels, Nursing Homes have all been trying for years to encourage healthy eating.  It’s a good thing, I suppose, a lot of seniors are diabetic, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and are constipated.  A healthy diet would help in all these conditions the only problem is you have to get the seniors to eat these healthy foods and only these healthy foods.  Seniors get to be seniors by being around for a long time, during which time they learn useful things like places to hide things.  You could take the average grandmother, confiscate  her purse, strip search her, run her through one of those metal detector machines they have at the airport, sit her on a plain wooden bench in the middle of a gymnasium, send in a grandkid and the kid will walk away with a cookie or a piece of chocolate.  Peek into the average senior lady’s purse and I bet you the slightly over ripe banana sitting on my kitchen counter that you’ll find little packets of sugar or artificial sweetener purloined from a local eatery.  Other treasures from aforementioned eateries that might be found are packets of crackers, after dinner mints from the dish near the cash register, packets of ketchup, duck sauce, salt and pepper and mayonnaise.

I go to visit senior friends in hospitals, nursing homes, assisted living facilities and I’m offered illicit goodies from stashes hidden in drawers, from under mattresses and in one memorable case in a bed pan.  All these goodies being shared were in the possession of folks on restricted diets.  They were not supposed to have them.  They were supposed to be on strict diets consisting mostly of healthy good-for-you items.  Drug dealers and smugglers could learn a lot from some of these seniors.  They might be in a hospital, no access to any form of transportation, no cash on hand, no clothes other than a hospital gown, and you can bet that in most cases they have a goody stash somewhere in the room and a supply system in place to replenish it as needed.  Why do they do it?  It’s a game they can still play and they play it well.  A lot of them grew up during The Great Depression which wasn’t really so great.  Their mantra was “Waste Not, Want Not”.  They are opportunists and don’t leave good stuff just lying around where it could be thrown out.  You can still play “Stash the Goodies” long after your football or tennis playing days are over.  It’s a way to be naughty without really hurting anybody.  They’ll eat the healthy food because they know they should but they’ll continue to stash the good stuff because it’s fun and it tastes good. 

Give an average school child a tray with a veggie burger, raw carrots and celery sticks, low fat milk and an apple then offer to swap him a Happy Meal or a package of Twinkies for his or her tray and see what happens.  We shouldn’t be discouraged, remember the students of today are training to be the seniors of tomorrow. 

Thought for the week—When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.   –Thomas Jefferson

Until next week, may you and yours be happy and well.

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