Whittling Away with Dick Brooks - The Recliner

I’ve been writing this missive for 25 years as of this month.  With over a thousand columns behind me, there are times when I sit down to write and the well is dry.  Usually this isn’t a problem because sometime during the week something happens to get the old wheels turning and I mill it over for several days and am ready when it’s typing time.  If it’s been an especially dull week, I grab one of my collection of Andy Rooney books and usually after five minutes or so the wheels start turning or as happens occasionally, I get an e-mail with a column idea suggestion.  This is one of those weeks,a good friend suggested that I write about a common problem amongst our age group so here goes!

There is a problem that affects members of mostly the male persuasion in their golden years.  It involves our favorite article of furniture, the recliner.  I love my recliner, after a hard day of doing senior things like going to the Post Office or pulling weeds or supervising anybody doing anything to be sure that they are doing it right, it sits there, ready to cradle my old bones, a nest of peace and a comfort to my old age.  The one problem that I have with my recliner is caused because it reclines.  I rarely sit up straight in it, I automatically pull the side lever and up come the old tootsies.  No problem there, in fact before I lost several pounds of cuddlieness, it was the only time during the day I could see my feet.  So I recline and am comfortable, the end table near my left hand holds a tasty drink and a snack or two and I’m set for a few hours of reading or TV watching.  Now we get to the problem, trying to eat or drink while reclining leads to more than a few mishaps.  Balancing a drink on my still rather round tummy usually leads to spillage.  Your mouth is harder to hit when reclining.  I have groped the cushion cracks on both sides more frequently that I care to admit seeking an errant potato chip or cookie piece.  All of this leads to embarrassing stains which are hard to explain when The Queen does laundry.  If there’s a problem, there’s a solution.  I think an article of clothing is what’s needed.  The Queen gifted me a few years back with a thing called a Snuggie.  It’s a blanket with arms sewed in.  This design would solve the recliner mess problem.  Make the Snuggie out of some waterproof material in an attractive pattern, maybe Real Tree Camouflage would be appropriate.  It should be knee length with large vertical pockets on each side with a wire strip to hold them open so that when you were reclining they could catch any stray goodies trying to escape to the void near the arms of the recliner.  A handy pocket sewed in the center of the chest to hold the remote and I think we’ve got a winner.  I’m going to draw up the plans for it now, another million dollar idea!

Thought for the week—The older I get, the earlier it gets late!

Until next week, may you and yours be happy and well.

whittle12124@yahoo.com